Unforgetable Beautiful Memories =)

It has been days.
But, life seems so much of sorrow.
Feeling really down.
I need someone to be there for me.
And im hoping it was YOU.
But, you doesn't seem to care.

Sometimes I wish to ask God,
Why does He want to fool my life?
Many told me that i would have a good life this year.
I would be successful in my studies, music and everything.
I beg differ abt it.

29 Jan - My Beloved David left us. Had a period of hard time trying to get over it. I was once close with him, esp during my Sec 1 days. He would always call me every sunday morning and ask me to go evco prac with him. He used to buy me breakfasts on sundays. Had lunch tgt every week. The cheerful, bubbly fei fei left us. It was really difficult. Secretly dropped the tears when no one is around.

14Feb - It was supposed to be a sweet day for us. But, he asked for a break up. How much it hurts. Having five days without food. Really slim down alil'. Two weeks in school trying to be happy. But, i wasn't myself. Days and days in school wasn't studying. Perhaps, it was all sleeping sessions. My dear bro had been there for me. And i was glad abt it. Im sorry to let you down now.

21 April - He asked for a patch up. By then, my dear bro had somehow left me, having to disappoint him.We had less talks. We aren't as close as the past alrd. I had to brave everything myself. No one to turn to alrd. I did not dare to mention anything abt him to my bro. I knew he wouldn't want to listen anymore. Yes, and i did a patch up with boyf. He assured my happiness at that time. He say he wouldn't break me anymore. But, sth we did not make it clear. When is our date of anniversary. Now, we do not have any date to celebrate anymore. And thus, the relationship between bro and i worsened. We hardly talked. Even if we did, we did not speak the way we always did. Just very very very normal friends.

2 May - This day marks even clearer that i should stay away from my bro. He's got his girlf. So as usual, i stay away from guys who have girlf, lest that his girl would be unhappy or so.

14 June - Our beloved RuiXiang left us. I had so much to say abt him.

These are the days that I have endured so much, and the pain can't be erased. I have to juggle with these, and of cuz struggling hard with my studies. Not to forget my orchestra pracs that i've been missing. So how can ppl say that this year is a good year for me. I think i've come to a point that i had given up on everything. And perhaps i would just learn to live in my own world. For now, i wna cherish everyone that is around me. Life is fragile, so just learn to be happy. Go for what you want in life. Don't leave me anymore my dearies. I've a couple of messages to convey to some ppl impt in my life.

My dear boy,
I've done my very best as your gf. You said you wouldn't break me. But, sometimes i felt that you wanted me to leave your life so much. Taking my concern as stress and nuisance. Thank You. I think ppl, i've come to a point that i could only say "i'm done trying". I only hoped that you could be there for me. I once thought that you've changed after we patch. Yes, you did. But just for awhile. Now? I'm struggling hard. Having you to tell me that girlf are only temporary. B'cuz of girlf, you're gonna lose your friends. Having a girlf, is of no importance. I wish to ask, what am I to you in your eyes? You don't know how much it hurts when you mention abt your EX. Perhaps you just wna say in a harmless point of view. But, im gonna say this, im not interested. I hope that you can stop mentioning abt her. It wasn't abt stress or anything. Having your hurtful words entering my ears, i could only tear. There's nothing else i could do. Cuz, I think i've given the best to you. Perhaps, that's what i expect of you. I always have this mindset, as long as you're my boy, i would be the best gf i could be. I think i've overlooked this. In fact, to you, im the lousiest gf you could have. You did not break me, but instead you're constantly breaking my heart. Im sorry to be the lousiest that made you lose faith and love for me. I could blame no one except myself. If you really wna let go of me, pls do so if you're gonna be happy without me being in your life. Your happiness is my utmost importance. I don't wna be a stress of yours. I don't want you to be unhappy.

My dear bro, (you know who you are)
Im sorry to disappoint you. Sometimes i actually wonder if we still could be as close as the past. Perhaps not. I don't know. But, just wna say that im sorry that i could not be the best sister you could have. I failed everyone badly. I've let you down. I promised to score well in my exams, but having to be the last 6th ranking in the cohort. I bet i've definitely failed you badly. I think of memories that we had tgt in the past. How much you are of importance in my life. You are always there for me in the past. Having a break-up with him, instead of sleeping, you accompanied me out. And of course, always bringing me food in the night. You're of much influence in my life. Our minds think alike and stuff. It's just so memorable, somethings will only happen once. And i believe these good memories are gonna be the memories that i can store in my memory, they are not gonna happen the second time. As long as you're happy with it, i will always support you as your sister. Go for what you think is happiness. =)

EVCO clique,
Well, as time goes by, we've been busy with our own life out there. As years gone by, slowly you guys have your own partner of life. No longer we're as close like in the past. I still remembered how much i wanted to leave EVCO when i just went, i was asked by Mr Ang if im interested. I went there. And people from the plucked strings are seriously hostile. Or perhaps i wasn't really friendly. Im really surprised by the "welcoming". And so much i wanted to leave, and nicholas asked me to go for the reopening performance with him. Okkay, i agreed. And I got to know Kaiyi through David. Yes, without David, i would have leave EVCO long ago. Through Kaiyi, i got to know Kaiwen and slowly the rest. And after that, i realise that actually EVCO has fun ppl around. And i changed my mind, i decided to stay. Every sunday was a day of the week that i yearned for. And as time goes by, im getting more committed to it. And of cuz, i have you guys to keep me going. I enjoyed the times spending with all of you. Tgt with all, I've learnt alot in life. Having my first boyf from EVCO as well, thank you for all the sweet memories. Im sorry that i did not cherish you well. And then, falling for 2 of you from EVCO, but of course, it did not work out. Perhaps, these are really memories, and of cuz the good guy that i've missed out. Sometimes i really think back, and im like "omg, why did i let go of him.." Well, it's all the past. With all of them, i could feel a certain level of security. But, perhaps as time goes by, we got distanced even further. Im busy with my studies, and you guys busy up with your own life. I want to thank all of you for teaching me and guiding me my life. I always laughed when ppl thot that im from the same school as you guys. Manjusri Sec. Whooa. Haha. I always wonder if we could be like the past. Like what i've just mentioned, somethings you just have to cherish it, they are gonna happen for once. No matter what, Thank you my dearies from EVCO.