P.S The previous post was a post on wednesday. But, I can't seem to alter anything without any errors with the html code.
I made a wasted trip to 416 Amk Ave 10 today! >.< Supposed to go for my dental check-up. I was kinda late and the dentist had already left! ARGH! Then made our way to Bishan J8!
Ate our lunch, bought our stuffs. And went to school.
Data logger lesson! Damn! I think I spoiled the computer man! The person tell me spoil! 900plus bucks! Then homed!
Change up and went study with zj and pyong-shin! >.<
Then home.
Anyway, I felt that today is a bad day. I don't really know what's wrong with me. All I want him to do is to care more about me. But, he can't seem to do that. Perhaps I've overreacted, for that, I am sorry my dearest. But, I really hope that he could give really give his support in everything I do. I know relationship doesn't matter to him anymore. But, sometimes, I hope he really knows what a girl needs. The support, encouragement, security is all that they need.
To hear the hurtful words that he had said, as usual, the tears came down. I tried hard to hold back. But, I felt so much better after the cry. Na no sul-pe. =(
I am still sad about what he said. The many things he said made me feel even more insecure. I feel like crying out loud again. I ask myself. What's the point? Cause I knew I no longer matter in his heart.
To understand that honeymoon period is all over. But, as a girl, I felt envious towards those new couples who just got together. The silly things that they got up together, and the guy would never hurt the girl, for the simple reason, they love their girl. To protect them from all harms, and be there for them when they need. Little cuddles, kisses, little gifts to spice up their relationship. But, I hardly enjoy it again. Things can never get back to the same old days again? They can, if the two hands are willing to clap. Otherwise, don't ever think of it. Disappointments will just filled in instead.
Whenever a problem arise, he would just say that I am controlling his freedom. Making him hard to breathe. And he never bothers about how I felt ever. Just because, I wonder if I meant anything to him. I had never receive any gifts for long.. And it's really long. no more surprises, no more gifts. And to feel lonely at times, and he is nowhere to be found.
Jealousy was another issue. But, frankly, if girls don't feel jealous, I think they can just go bang the wall and die. In other words, they would definitely feel jealous over certain things. You can't blame them! They bothers about you!
Alrights, enough of rantings! Goodnights~!
Friday, September 5
